On my way to a school prom one evening, I had picked up my date and was driving to the location. I was pretty suave. My hair was parted in the middle and feathered on both sides, my butterfly collar was pressed neatly, and Alabama’s Greatest Hits was blaring from my 8-track tape player.
When the song Words at Twenty Paces came on, I decided to impress this beautiful young gal by singing along. “Just like a western movie, a challenge has been made. A shot was fired in anger, and Clyde stepped off the train.”
My date doubled over with laughter. “Who stepped off the train?” she asked. I didn’t answer. I obviously didn’t know the answer. “It’s ‘pride’ stepped off the train,” she clarified, “not ‘Clyde’.” We drove the rest of the way in silence.
But the truth is, when it comes to misunderstanding song lyrics, few people do it better than I do. For decades I sang along with Jimi Hendrix while he sang Purple Haze and belted out, “Excuse me while I kiss this guy.” Yes, I was a tad embarrassed when I read the lyrics and realized he was saying “kiss the sky.” I was also a little relieved.
Nobody beats Credence Clearwater Revival. My favorite is Bad Moon Rising. Of course it helps that they use it in one of my favorite movies – American Werewolf in London. But for years when they sang “There’s a bad moon on the rise,” what I heard was “There’s a bathroom on the right.” It’s probably just my small bladder doing the thinking.
I thought Bob Dylan said “The ants are my friends, and they’re blowing in the wind.” But look at a young Bob Dylan and you can understand that error. I thought Johnny Nash was sad because Lorraine was gone, but it turns out he can see clearly now, the rain is gone.
“We didn’t start the fire,” Billy Joel sang in his incredible voice. “It was always burning since the world’s been turning.” Sure, that makes sense, but so did the way I heard it. “It was always burning, said the worst attorney.”
“It doesn’t matter if we’re naked or not” is not what Bon Jovi said in Living on a Prayer, and ABBA’s dancing queen feels the beat from the tambourine, not the tangerine.
It’s amazing how many phrases and words I got wrong from movies that closed captioning now allows me to correct, and now with the internet I can read all the song lyrics I got wrong too. It’s the dawn of a new age. Or as the Fifth Dimension said, “It’s the dawning of the age of asparagus.”
moc.loaobfsctd@netoowlaen