Hey Y’all! Well, somer vaykayshun iz jest bout over and I magin thay’z a hole passel uv younguns whut ain’t zackly plezed az punch bout it nether. Coarse, I’m shore that thay’z sum whut er happy ta be a goin back ta skool, ifn fer no uther reson than ta see all thair frends agen. But these dayz all the younguns haz sale fons and thay tex back and forth more than thay talk ta thay mammy and pappy. I’m tellin ye ret now, way back yunder when I’z a youngun, I’z proud ta get ta go back ta skool. Skool got me outta a hole passel uv work.
Dear Margie,
I enjoyed the story you told on your vlog about your luggage getting lost. And I can surely sympathize with you about how the young lady acted. It makes you wonder how she keeps her job, doesn’t it?
Sugar Lamb, it shore doz. I’ve alwayz heered bout common cents, but I’ve sided that thay jest ain’t nary sech thang az comon cents no more. After church las Sunday wun uv air members named Cletus Coleman, he’z a farmon, enyhow he’z tellin this here tale. He sayd, “We got a call tuther day frum a man whut sayd he come home an hiz house wuz on far so’s he rund over ta the naybor’z house an calt us.” Cletus sayd, “I axed him how do we get thare?” Yu kan baleve it er don’t, that feller axed, “Don’t ye still have wun uv them big red trucks?” An speekin uv air vaykayshun, me an Ole Earl got on the plain ta hed out and ret side us thay’z this here little feller whut come an sit down in the winder seat. He talked ta us fer a little bit bout how nervus he getz when he’z flyin then he settled in an started reedin sum magazeen. In a cuple uv minets thay’z this here gret big ole mean lukin feller whut come in and plopped down side the little feller an bout az fast az hiz wide reer end hit the seat he’z snorin ta beet the band. Even frum acrost the alley I cud tell that big un hadn’t ben innerduced ta water in a day er tu. After a whul that thare little feller had stood bout all he cud. Hiz nervs and that big feller’z aroma wuz bout more than he cud take, but he shore didn’t wanna wake up the big feller and make him mad so’s he jest tried ta stand it best he cud. Me and Earl jest kep a wachin him. I whispered, “Earl, that little feller over thare luks lack he’z jest bout ta loze hiz lunch.” Well, in a minet the plain hit a patch uv turbalance and the little feller jest cudn’t hold it in no more. He puked all over that big feller. Bout that time the big un woke up an luked down at hiz clothes. We’z a wunderin whut he mite du, but that little feller axed him, “Du ye feel better now, Sir.” We shore wuz proud when the flite attendant suggested that the big feller cud clean up in the john.
Dear Margie,
With the beginning of another school year drawing closer, trying to get my children new clothes, pencils, paper, backpacks, and all that, it always brings back memories of when I was in school. Children just don’t realize that this time in their life is some of the best memories they’ll ever have. Do you find yourself looking back on your school days this time of year too?
Sweetie Pie, I shore du. Why I’z a thankin jest tuther day bout Delmont Bodean. He’z a youngun whut wuz in my class way back yunder when buck wuz jest a pup. Enyhow, wun day air techer, Miss Hoggreaser, she’z a old made lady whut never did get hitched up with nary a feller in all her born dayz. An I spect all them thare fellers whut growed up with her, back in the dayz ret after Noey’z flud, shore wuz proud uv it tu. She’z bout az purdy az a mud fence an rinkly az a dried up prune. I’m tellin ye ret now that gal wud snag litenin eny day uv the week and twice on Sundee. Enyhow, wun day she sayd, “Class, taday we’re a gonna talk bout the tenses. Now ifn I say, ‘I am beautiful.’ Which wun uv the tenses iz it?” Ole Delmont spoke up ret kwik lack and sayd, “Obvioulsy it’z the pas tense!” Well all us younguns started wha whain. We’z lafin sa hard we hardly even noticed when Miss Hoggreaser rund outta the room cryin. That Delmont, he’z alwayz comin up with sumpthin whut kept us in stitches.
Well, I spect I better skedaddle fer now. Y’all have a good ole Alabamer day and come on back next week, ye heer!
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