Hey Y’all! Well, after all that warm weather and all the purdy flares that has been a bloomin, this vary mornin thay’z sno flurries in the air. Now ye jest gotta kno that the Big Guy Upstairs iz lookin down here chucklin at us. Why I’ve dun alredy been a seen sum uv them thare butt crack shorts lack ye see in the summer, and here it iz still aficially winner time. Sprang won’t even be here fer a nuther week and folks haz dun went ahead on and drug out the short shorts. I over heered a conversashun betwixt sum jaspers here tuther day, and this wuz fellers way yunder older than me, and wun uv em sayd, “I guess this is Blackberry winner.” Well, I spect the Big Guy Upstairs musta been watchin over me real good bout then and shorely musta had his big ole hand ret smack dab over my mouth, cuz I’z a good girl and jest kept my mouth shut and didn’t stick my nose whare it didn’t balong, that time. Anyhow, I thot ta myself, “Yu big dummy, it’z still reglar winner! Jest cuz we’re hafin some unsesonably warm dayz don’t mean winner iz over yet.” So, jest ta keep everbudy on track (maybe that shud be on the same track, er the rite track): Reglar winner don’t end til Tuesday, March 20th. It’z been that way fer hunerds uv yars. We neer bout alwayz have a nuther cold snap round Easter when the Dog Wood trees er a bloomin, that’z why way back yunder in the old dayz folks called it Dog Wood Winner. Then ifn thangs goes lack thay normally do we’ll have a nuther cool spell bout a month later when the Blackberries iz a bloomin, that’ll be Blackberry Winner. My advice iz: don’t tuck the winner close tu fer back in ye closet jest yet. Them Dazie Dukes mite be a little airesh when it’z 30 degrease outside.
Dear Margie,
It really bothers me to be enjoying a nice meal in a restaurant and see children being allowed to act out disturbing everyone nearby. Have you ever experienced that?
Sugar Britches, yu better kno I hav an it jest bout burns my biskit ta a krisp. Tuther day I’z njoyin brakefust down thare at the Cracker Barrel and that’z this here youngon whut ta start with wuz playin real nice, in the flor, at her pappy’z feet. I figerd her ta be bout 2 an a haf. Alluvasuden that little gal desided ta stand up an run a round a bit. Whilst the mammy sat thare lack a not on a log, eatin her grits an gravy, the pappy wrangled the youngon back to thair table, but he jest let her stay in the flor. Big mastake. Well, I spect ye kan magin bout how long that lasted. Afore he knod whut had hit him that thare youngon took off a runnin an she’z out thare in the stor area az kwik az litenin. The mammy still sat thare stuffin her face an the pappy jumped up an made a mad dash ta ketchup with her afore dzaster happnd. Well he got her an came back ta the table, but jest fer a
second er tu. He held ontu her that time, but he didn’t stay thare at the table long cuz the youngon started pitchin a fit that wud du a crazy person proud. Well that’s bout the time ole pappy desised it wuz time ta take her outside. I’m purdy shore that didn’t mean the same thang fer her that it wud’ve fer me when I’z a youngon. Ifn it did she’d a knod better than aktin lack that in the furst place. Enyhow, in a few minutes when the mammy finished eatin she axed fer a ta-go box and raked all uv the food that wuz left on the pappy’z plate intu it, then she gathered up all thair stuff an headed out. I shore missed em after thay left, but it wuz a good miss.
Well, I gotta skedaddle fer now. Y’all come on back next week, ye hear!