By Neal Wooten
I write this on Sunday afternoon and I have tried to prepare myself for tonight, both physically and mentally, for the cold front passing through. I have piled up kindling and firewood beside my fireplace because, on nights like this, my two central heat & air units aren’t enough.
As you know I lived in Milwaukee for ten years, and the winters up there last much longer. They get much more snow and the temps can drop much lower. I have learned, however, that even with all that, thanks to Mr. Humidity, it still gets colder here. That’s probably why I never heard one freeze warning up there, or suggestions to leave the water running or anything like that. I never once heard about someone’s pipes freezing.
I once accidentally left a two-liter Coke on the back deck overnight and the temperature got down to about five degrees that night. It didn’t freeze. There was no ice in the bottle at all. I couldn’t believe it. I screwed off the lid and it immediately froze solid. But it was like the cold couldn’t get in without my help.
My ex-wife learned the difference too. She grew up in Chicago, and, like most northerners, thought of the South as being a warm place, even in the winter. And yes, it does get unbearably hot here, but the same moisture that makes the summers so relentless also makes the winters colder.
Maggie’s first visit to the Heart of Dixie came in December 2005. It was a day much like today. It had been raining earlier and the temps had steadily been falling. Maggie and I had gone to Walmart, and as we left the building at dusk, I still remember her words: “I don’t understand it. I have on three coats and I’m still freezing.”
Welcome to north Alabama. She could finally relate to my childhood stories of growing up in a house with no heat except in the living room, which came via an Ashley wood-burning heater. When she asked me how we didn’t freeze to death in bedrooms with no heat, I explained about having electric blankets. She thought I was making that up. She had never heard of such.
On our next visit to Chicago to visit her family, she took her mother an electric blanket. Like Maggie, her mother had never heard of this. She was truly amazed. When Maggie’s brother and sister came by, they likewise we’re shocked at this marvelous invention. They “oohed” and “ahhed” like kids at a magic show.
I just stood there in awe of it all wondering if they knew what century it was. How do they survive up there?