When we were kids, Mom always took us to Sylvania’s Christmas parade; every year. We never had fancy folding chairs, but we didn’t care. We’d plop right down on the ground and enjoy the show. Just like the 4th of July, parades are as Americana as you can get in small town, USA.
I loved all of it: the marching bands, the beautiful girls in convertibles, the horses, the floats, the beautiful girls in convertibles, the Shriners driving their go-karts, the clowns, the beautiful girls in convertibles, the free candy, Santa Claus, and I might not have mentioned – the beautiful girls in convertibles.
Of course, as a kid, my favorite part was the free candy. In a sense, it was better than Halloween because the candy came to you. I was pretty fast on my feet, which I got from my dad, so I could scoop up a lot. Now I’m an older fellow, 57, and things have changed. Now my favorite thing about the parade is… well, it’s still the free candy. I’m just too slow to beat the kids to it, so I rely on blocking and tripping techniques.
But I was always only a spectator. I have never been in a parade in my life. I was never in the band. I can’t twirl a baton. I was never asked to ride on a float, and I never even helped build one at M.B. Bell Grainery. Also, as far back as I can remember, I’ve never even been a pretty girl. And the only thing I know about the Shriners comes from that song by Ray Stevens. “Meanwhile, back at the motel…”
But this year, for the first time, I will be in the parade. Sylvania’s Christmas parade is on December 10th, and I have been asked to be the Grand Marshal. I was honored. I was also confused. They told me when to be there and to just come to where the parade always starts. I had no idea where that was. They also said the mayor was still trying to find the perfect car for me. I don’t know if that meant a convertible or just a vehicle with good shocks.
I hope it’s a beautiful day and there’s a great turnout. After all, this will be my first time seeing the parade from this perspective and in its entirety. Just look for me in the car with the mayor. I won’t be hard to spot. I’ll be the one with the head so swollen it will look like a hot-air balloon in Macy’s parade. I’ll be throwing out candy to all the kids. At least, they think I will be. (Wink)